No good dirty rotten.....

So Tuesday and "today" (Early Thursday Morning) I have not felt good at all. I am laying here in bed and do not want to move for any reason. On Tuesday I only got out of bed for two reasons, food and bathroom. Other than that I sat on the couch or laid in bed and did nothing.

I really don't like it but I did feel good enough on Wednesday to go into work and go down to the Bells and practice. It was a good practice, I play a position that I had not played this year it was hard and refreshing to do. Today I will go to class, and then come home and crash until I need to go to work tonight.

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Now I am in class, I kinda wish that I didn't come. I am glad that the teacher encourages people to ask questions but this means that we get WAY off topic and nothing that is currently being talked about will be on the test. The worst is the snow ball effect that one question at the beginning of class that is talked about during each section of the lesson. It makes the lesson feel like it is dragging to me as we stop learning about the course content.

Anyway about the title of the post, I feel like this situation I am in is a no good dirty rotten thing. The next couple of weeks my activities will include finding another doctor to get a second option, finding a storage unit so I can start packing my extra stuff so that the first weeks of May, and finishing the school year while getting good grades. If I can get all this done before (finding doctor/storage unit) before the middle of April I will be in good shape.

Spring Break!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well my Friday classes were canceled so today I started Spring Break. So I will have a day of doing nothing before going to California with my family.

Finally getting a break.

On a side note have Blood work done this week and my tests came back normal even though I have been having the same kinds of issues. Well I am not going to worry about it until I get back.

Really? Your STILL Sick?

This is the most asked question of the past couple of weeks. Here is the answer, YES, I am still sick. Currently yes it is with the same cough that I had a week to a week and a half ago when you last asked me.

I am really trying to not get annoyed with this question but it is kinda getting on my nerves. I guess what tends to bother me more is when people ask me to do something/ if I am doing something and my answer is "I just don't feel good, so I don't think so" and their next question is "Oh, how are you feeling?" did I not just answer that question? I know I listen for what I want to hear as well but sometimes it would be nice to have someone listen the first time.

Just so you are aware, if you ask me how I am feeling, I will answer how I am feeling. I no longer hide behind the answer that you want to hear,meaning the "I'm doing good", in fact I feel sorry for one of my old neighbors today who asked me at a test review how I was doing. I gave them the full real answer and they did not expect it. When what they were expecting to be a line answer turned into a half page summary it seemed like they were going to stop talking to me, but they didn't they stuck it out. (Thanks, I needed that today at least once)...

So just so you all know, yes I am still sick, my body still has not figured out what is my Thyroid and what is a germ or virus that needs to be killed. If I don't have the same cough that I have had for a few weeks it is something else. Yes I am taking medication, when I feel myself to start to get worse I take airborne until "better" symptoms appear that I can treat. I just really want to get better so I don't feel like this on the way to Cali.

In better news because of my AMAZING brother Nate who helped me study for my Econ test I was able to teach the Teacher's Aide something tonight at the test review, let us also hope that means good things for the test tomorrow.

Do Hard Things

My sister-in-law recently had a post about doing hard things and why she has been able to do them in the past and why she thinks she is having a hard time now. I really enjoyed the post and had been thinking about "hard things" before she posted it.

I love that as the human race that we strive to do that which we are told is impossible. As I was putting off doing homework one day I was listening to a graduating speaker on Ted.com (my new favorite website) and he talked about the differences and similarities of humans and animals. The main difference is that when someone tells us that we cannot do something we want to prove them wrong and do it anyway. I really need to pay more attention to who I listen to on there so I can give them credit when I talk about their ideas.

It really has made me think of what I have done in my life when I was told NO, you can't do it. I have had doctors say “no”, I have had teachers say “no”, I have had friends say “no, it can't be done”. Even more often I have been the one who has told it myself “no, it can't be done”.

A little history if you didn't know me at the time or don't remember of one of these times. When I was filling out the paper work to go on my mission for the Church my doctor had placed a note on my medical forms that he thought that I might have a heart defect that results from Marfan syndrome because I have long fingers and other symptoms of this disorder. One of the Doctors from Church Headquarters called and said that if I did not go and have a echocardiogram, an ultrasound of the heart, I could still server a mission but would have to stay state side just in case I had heart complications.

So I heard “no, you won't serve a foreign mission”. My mother was just fine with this news, I however was not. When I had decided that I was going to be a missionary I as decided that I could go anywhere as long as it was outside of the USA. I wanted to do something that my brothers did not do. I talked with my parents, my mother trying to tell me that knowing I was going to go stateside was ok, my father telling me to make up my own mind and me wanting to have the test done so that I would at least have the chance.

We had the test done, my heart was normal, no remote sign that there was any defect nor that one would show up in the future. With my papers complete from the medical side, my papers were finished; I was called to sever in the Paraguay Asuncion North Mission. I would not have it any other way.

I just wish that I would have done that every time I was told no. I love to rebel when someone else tells me no but once I tell that same word to myself I stop fighting and succumb to defeat and stop. I like my sister-in-law do not know what really stops me. This is one reason for the quote at the top of my blog, if I am stopped I hope at least it is by something valid and not something in my head.

I need a break...

This week has been one crazy ride... between being sick and and not having energy to do anything. I have felt this week much like I felt at the start of the medication process. It has just been odd.

What I am saying with all of this is I need a break... I can't wait until Summer... I am going to do my internship but it will be nice to just work and not work and do school... yep I need a break.

Long days.... Some planning starting to work out.

I am still doing alright with the new work/school schedule. It has been hard on some days but for the most part it rocks. I sleep like a normal person at least 3 days a week, (up from the maybe sometimes 1 day last semester). As it turns out Wednesdays are not my long days. Tuesday and Thursday are. Wednesday is once again my favorite day. At the end of it I am tired but fell amazing. I LOVE being apart of the Bells on Temple Square.

I talked to the HR rep at my work today and was able to confirm that I will be able to do an internship this summer.  If I am not able to go to Spain at least I will be able to get things done for my degree. Right now there is a graduation requirement to have an internship, talking to my councilor in the next few years they are going to want graduates to have at least two internships and I am on my way to have two.

One thing that I do want to do while I am in school is the internship with the Government at one of their embassies doing the same kind of things that I will do when I work full time for the embassy. So I might do that next year (or at least try to) and kill to birds with one stone, i.e. go to Spain and work for the US embassy there, who knows but I think I'll try it.

New Semester... New Work Schedule...

This week started a new school semester here at USU. This also means that we started a new work schedule a my job. I decided that I wanted to go to 3-10s instead of 5-6s. That means that on Monday, Wednesday and Friday I go into work at 1:00 am and stay until 11:00 am. At my job we are not required to take a lunch break, we can eat at our desk and continue to work if we would like, so I can get the 10 hours in without having to take a break for lunch.

I have yet to decide if this is a good thing or not. I loved not having to work on Tuesday, being able to sleep in until I needed to go to class/being lazy until I needed to go to class. Monday at work wasn't "hard" being at work is for the most part fun for me. Friday was hard because I did not sleep on Thursday.

For the most part I am excited for this next semester of school... After this I will only be taking classes that pertain to my degree. WOOT!