This is for me... Not really for you.

This week I had a post all written and ready to be posted on Tuesday. It was going to post automatically yesterday (Thursday) but it didn't feel right so I stopped it. I didn't know what I wanted to post until today. Today I want to say things that are for me. Things that I wish I would have said in the moment. These things are not to one person, group, company or thing. If you figure out who/what I am talking to I might confirm but this post is mainly for me. This is how I have felt over the 2010 year.

P.S. You do not have to read these and don't take offense I am thinking of things that really happened and they do not apply to all circumstances. 

• Thank you... I do not know what I would do without you. I am sorry to have been so distant but you always come through.
  
• You are a JERK. I am perfectly ok with you not keeping promises that you made to me. I know the reasons and have seen how things have developed. That gave you no right to make promises that you had no intention of keeping.
  
• You have no idea what our talk meant to me. Really we only talked the once, it was awesome, you let me put it all on the table without questioning motives. This world needs people like you. It wasn't take you felt sorry for me or that you didn't care. I didn't really know you but you sat you accepted and you didn't put on an act.
  
• This is an odd thing to say, after all you are younger than I am but when I grow up I want to be just like you. I want to have what your parents have and I want to embrace life like you do.
  
• You really don't know how I feel about you, you might have gotten a clue at one time or another but I don't think you comprehend it. I think you could but I also think that you don't want to.
  
• It has been hard, most of the problems started during the summer time. You cared enough to see how I was doing most days and especially after my doctors visits. |
  
• This is not how I wanted it to be. I know I messed up. I was a jerk and I really didn't do anything to make it up to you. I still think my actions were justified I might change of couple of things but in general I am sticking to my point, the one that you never tried to understand.
  
• Unacceptable. It hurts more than I can say. You will never know that it hurts. I will smile, I will do my part. I will put on a show because you can never know the truth.
  
• Things will never be the same. This year was not when our problems began. Things have always been a little shaky, but this year more than once I have felt almost overwhelmed because of you.
  
• I miss you. I have all year. What happened? Why did we let it happen?

I guess that is enough. Ten Things I wish I would have said to someone or something during 2010. I am ok with this post. It still feels like it is missing something but this will be posted.

Mormon Tabernacle Choir Christmas Concerts

This past week was awesome... For the past two years I have been able to preform with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir through the Bells on Temple Square for their annual Christmas concerts. Last year I preformed with Natalie Cole and this year was with David Archuleta.They sang great and the choir was amazing.

I am so lucky that I get to be a part of that. This year after each number that the Bell Choir was apart of I was left feeling drained and tired. By the end of the week I was ready to be done, I really did not want to do another performance.

I heard a new Spanish Christmas song that I have never read before, "Los Pastores a Belen". I think it is my new favorite Spanish Christmas song.

Los pastores a belen corren presurosos, llevan de tanto correr los zapatos rotos. Ay ay ay,que alegres van, ay ay ay si volveran. Con la pan pan pan con la pan con la pandereta y las castañuelas . Un pastor se tropezo a media vereda y un borreguito grito ese ahi se queda. Ay ay ay, que alegres van, ay ay ay si volveran. con la pan pan pan con la pan con la pandereta y las castañuelas.

The shepherds swiftly run to Bethlehem Their shoes are broken from their running Ay ay ay, how happy they go, ay ay ay, yes they will return. With the bread, bread, bread with the bread with the tambourine and the castanets. One shepherd tripped half-way through the journey and a little lamb laughed "that one will stay there" Ay ay ay, how happy they go, ay ay ay, yes they will return. With the bread, bread, bread with the bread with the tambourine and the castanets.

I really think that it is a good song.... and sounds much better in Spanish than it does in English.

PS. I translated this myself so you might translate it differently

BUSY WEEK!!!!!

So, this week is the last week of the semester... Finals Week, it also happens to be the week that the Mormon Tabernacle Choir does their Christmas concert. It happens every year that the two are on the same week. This makes for a very busy, complicated mess that sometimes I feel is almost too much to handle.

Luckily for me this year I have really grate teachers. I know I have complained about them a lot but in the end this year they have souls. They have worked with me through medical issues that caused me to miss classes. They have given extensions on assignments, they have worked with me so that I could find some time to sleep and do all my finals this week.

I am very excited to be doing stuff with the Bells on Temple Square again. It is a nice break from the normal passing of life. I have found that I really enjoy the drive down and back. It is nice to have time to just think, I haven't been taking that time when I wasn't driving down every week and I have missed it.

I am so glad that I have the opportunity to rub shoulders with the some of the best and most talented people. I am really happy that I can call my self part of that family.


If you want to you can tryout to be part of the bells too, just go to the Church News & Evernts page to find out more

Today's Visit

At the doctors office today I was told that the medication is working... my thyroid counts are almost back to normal..... also meaning that although I still feel like crap a lot of the time there is no need to speed up the process.

This means that currently there is no reason for surgery or radiation treatments. Also we did not adjust my medication at all, I will keep taking the same dosage for another three months and then go back in and have my blood work done again.

Good new and bad news cause I really would rather have the whole time come to a quicker close but I guess as long as it is working I should be fine.